I'm feeling a bit out of sorts today.
It's a mixture of lonliness, frustration, and bitterness.
I'm trying to remind myself of God's plan and what He is doing in my family. What things are important and what I'm needing to focus on to bring my spirits up.
First and foremost: my relationship with Jesus Christ... my time spent reading, meditating, listening, learning.
That's the most important. Lately, I have fallen in love with His word. I enjoy studying and applying it to my life. I love it when something that I have read 40 times before, all of a sudden, makes sense or really grasps me by the collar. I feel His peace and comfort most of the time and relish in the times that I can hear His gentle voice.
Second: my relationship with my husband.
It seems to take these up and down spells. Times of extreme comfort and happiness into a time of bitterness and lonliness. I'm not totally sure where my heart lies on this sometimes and communication is not always an easy thing to do.But I also know that I love him and he loves me. We choose to love each other and are commited to this marriage and our family. God has blessed us with each other.
Third: my role as Mommy.
Oh, what a huge responsibility this is. Some days I'm totally overwhelmed with trying to raise polite, respectful gentlemen and ladies. Our society and the breakdown of the family in general has made raising "good" kids a very difficult, time-consuming thing.
I AM DETERMINED!!
With God's help, I will do the best I can and know that God has entrusted these kids to me for a reason. He has faith in me, that I can do this!! That's an incredible thought to me! He believes that I can do this! WOW. I do have an added degree of difficulty. And this is where it gets a bit personal. But with a husband who does not have a personal relationship with Jesus right now, it makes some parenting issues into problems.
All I can do is pray for him, pray for me, pray for our kids. And remember that Jesus has left me a "Helper" in the Holy Spirit to guide me and nudge me in the right direction when I need it.
Fourth: my role as a friend.
Boy do I have awesome friends. I love them and appreciate them all sooo much. They are rocks when I need it. They are fluffy pillows when I need that. My friends have a special place in my heart. I miss them and wish that we could have more time together since I've moved but God is providing.
Now that we've FINALLY found a church that we are calling "ours" and we are meeting people and getting involved in Bible study and youth group. I know that God is sending more friends my way at just the right time.
I'm down to the bottom of my pit, needing that woman to woman communication. That smile of "I totally understand where you're coming from!" . I only pray that I am as good of a friend to others as they are to me.
Jesus said that there would be trials and tribulations in this life, but not to fear for He has overcome the world!
I love that. HE HAS OVERCOME THE WORLD......
He loves me and knows me personally. My deepest needs, thoughts, fears, worries...
This is a verse that I keep coming back to lately.
Isaiah 40:31
But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.
Lisa, thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteGod is there with you, He knows your weaknesses and He provides your strength.
Lisa, first of all, ((((HUGS))))! This was a wonderful post and I find that when I'm feeling down, it always helps to think of what I do have. You have many wonderful blessings, which I know you realize based on your post!
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ReplyDeleteLisa, just remember (when it comes to Ken) that people (especially men it seems) express their faith in different ways. He may not openly seem in touch with Jesus but he my show it in his everyday actions. I know alot of guys (and of course women too) that say they are not in touch with God but their actions certainly speak differently. And sometimes they don't like to speak their feelings/beliefs or let their emotions "show". You have a strong family!
ReplyDeleteGood Morning my dear friend. I know you must be terribly lonely. I think of you often. I can only put you in Gods hands and pray that he will fill you with his love. I am glad you found a church to call your own. I think that will help. Remember I am a phone call away.
ReplyDeleteLove you.
Marla Alsup
I love reading your blog. I miss our daily chats and knowing whats going on in your life all the time. This helps so much. What's more, I like reading what all the women write to you. You have some wise women in your life. I think of you all, I miss you and you will always be in my prayers. Stay strong my beautiful friend. :) I love you.
ReplyDeleteJust loved your words on this! I think everyone at one time or another has felt the same way as you in different areas of their lives. You have such a good perspective on it, God will never let you down. Just love your photos. Blessings,Kathleen
ReplyDeleteHey Lisa we all miss your smiling face here in Drain too. I know it is way harder for you being the one that is away but I think of you and miss you too, you are a very strong christian woman and an inspiration to me with your faith and the way you are raising your kids. Keep up the good work and keep your chin up. Love-Becky
ReplyDeleteHi Lisa, it sounds like you are walking the same road all women walk at different times in their lives. Remember that without the downs there would be no ups. Thank goodness our Father provides lots of ups to keep us going! blessings, marlene
ReplyDeleteLISA, AT TIMES IT IS LIKE GOD SENT YOUR WORDS TO ME AT JUST THE RIGHT TIME!! YOUR WORDS ARE ALWAYS SO UPLIFTING. TAKE CARE, YOUR FRIEND IN BEND :) KARA
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